If I Had You
by celtic7irish
Summary: Ciel orders Sebastian to wear what he's most comfortable in, and finally finds something he wants more than he wants revenge.


Ciel stared at his butler, unable to hide the shock and disbelief on his face, and equally unable to keep his eyes from drinking in the dark, sexy vision before him. He had never really noticed just how nice a body Sebastian had, until he had ordered the demon to dress in whatever clothes he was most comfortable in. He had expected something a little more casual than the butler's uniform, but not _this_.

Sebastian was wearing leather – black leather – from head to toe. The outfit managed to be somewhat modest, but at the same time, it was utterly tantalizing. The top was a midriff, leaving Sebastian's pale stomach bare to the cool room. There was a gap in the material between the top of his chest and his sleeves, so that his collarbone and shoulders showed, perfectly proportioned.

On his legs, Sebastian wore leather pants that must have been painted on. Ciel had to hold himself back from reaching out and touching them, just to see if all that shiny black leather was actually real. The boots, however, rendered the pants almost a moot point. With tall, slender heels, the boots laced the entire way up Sebastian's legs, topping off at the very edge of his thighs. He wore them as easily as if he were wearing loafers.

His hands were bare, free of the leather, so that the sigil shone brightly on his right hand. There would be no hiding what he was tonight, Ciel thought. His eyes traveling back up Sebastian's leather-clad body, he took note of the thin leather band that encircled Sebastian's slender throat. There was a loop in the front, and catching his breath on a gasp, Ciel realized that it was intended for a chain to be looped through it, like a leash. It shone, black and utterly fascinating against all that pale, pale flesh, and Ciel swallowed, wondering how Sebastian would react if he were to actually attach it to a leash.

The real eye-catching decorations were his eyes, though. Surrounded by vivid black eyeliner, tastefully done, the black made the crimson stand out all the more, gleaming like fresh blood against a shadowy background. Ciel shivered, and realized with a sudden certainty that he wanted this man. Not as a servant, or as a tool for his revenge. No, he wanted him in the way that some men wanted other men – in his bed.

Sebastian must have had some inkling of the direction his thoughts had strayed, because he smirked and sashayed two steps closer to his master. Those two steps managed to convey everything that Sebastian was – a demon, a servant, a master, a lover, and a dangerous enemy, all at the same time. Ciel swallowed.

"Well, Bocchan?" that smooth timbre drawled, startling a quiver out of Ciel. "Do you find this to be acceptable? It is what I am accustomed to wearing when I am not bound to humans through a contract such as ours." Ciel closed his eyes tightly, trying to remember why he had given the order in the first place. Oh, that's right, because he had been curious. Like he had been curious to see if Sebastian would actually show up in a picture, being not of this world.

He cursed his curiosity now as he opened his eyes and met Sebastian's amused stare. "I want you, dammit!" he stated bluntly, not bothering to answer the previous question. Ciel growled. "I want you, not as a tool, not as a servant. Just as you. Do you understand?" he demanded, suddenly irrationally angry at the ethereal creature standing before him.

Sebastian tilted his head a little to the left, and his hair fell over one of those stunning eyes, so that it peeked out through strands as black as a crow's wing. "I understand what those words usually mean, yes," he agreed, his tone mild. "But as you are still so young, I am afraid that I must be misinterpreting."

Ciel growled; they both knew exactly what he meant. Sebastian just wanted him to say it out loud – wanted to test him, to see if he had the courage to admit what he wanted. "Don't play games with me, Sebastian. It's not hard to see through them. I want you as a man wants a lover. And I am quite aware of the age and size difference, too," he grumbled, trying not to blush.

He closed his eyes again and bowed his head, his shoulders slumping. "Dammit, Sebastian. Why do you tease me like this? You know what you look like, and we both know I can't have you. For the first time, I want something more than I want my revenge." The shameful admission was spoken quietly, almost inaudibly, but he knew the demon heard him.

Sebastian strode forward, suddenly dressed back in his butler's uniform. Ciel didn't even have time to wonder how the demon had changed so fast before he was held securely in strong arms. "After your revenge, Bocchan, before I take your soul, I will permit you to have me in that way," he murmured, the words both a taunt and a promise.

Ciel looked up at him doubtfully, but for once, Sebastian's crimson eyes were clear and honest. He'd keep his promise. Ciel nodded his acceptance, his eyes sliding a little lower, to the small opening at the base of Sebastian's throat. "Tell me, Sebastian, do you always wear that collar?" he asked.

The demon smiled. "Only when my master wishes to walk me," he replied smugly, holding out a hand with a long leather leash. Ciel laughed; trust the demon to always know what was on his mind. Whenever Ciel suffered, Sebastian was there to soothe him; whenever he fell, Sebastian was there to pick him and brush him off before setting him back on his feet. No wonder he kept the other man around. Sebastian truly was a superb butler, like no other.

"Let me guess," he smiled. "To answer the question you know is coming, if a butler of the Phantomhive household could not know this much, then where would we be, right?" Sebastian didn't reply, but then again, Ciel really hadn't been expecting him to. They knew each other well enough that words were no longer necessary.

Reaching up, Ciel attached the leash to the collar and gave it a sharp tug, bringing Sebastian down for a kiss. "Good boy," he murmured against the other man's lips, then turned and walked away, his demon butler following along behind him. "Let's go, shall we?" he asked quietly, the challenge unmistakable.

A small tug as Sebastian stopped moving and knelt on the floor, one hand over his heart. "Yes, My Lord," he replied, and Ciel smiled. Sebastian truly was all that he would ever need, more than anything that this world had to offer. At least the demon kept it interesting, he thought to himself, turning around once more.

"Oh, and one more thing," he said, stopping again to turn and look at Sebastian, who watched him expectantly. "Nobody else sees that outfit." With that, he turned around and walked out the door. Sebastian chuckled behind him, and Ciel couldn't help it; he laughed, too, the sound light and childish. Sebastian really was perfect for him, and as long as he had him, he needed nothing else. It had been that way for as long as they had known each other, but only now did Ciel actually realize what those odd feelings he got around Sebastian were.

Leading him down the hallway and to the bedroom, he threw casually over his shoulder, "Not everything's forbidden, right?" Sebastian shook his head in agreement, and Ciel nodded; he'd take what he could get, for now. And then, later, after he had gotten his revenge, he'd take everything Sebastian had to offer before giving up his own soul in exchange. As far as Ciel was concerned, it was a fair enough trade. His soul wasn't worth anything to him, after all. But it was a precious treasure to the demon who would receive it.

Ciel turned around once they reached the bedroom, tugging harshly on the leash and forcing Sebastian's head down for another kiss, noting with satisfaction that as soon as they had been hidden behind closed doors, the leather had returned. "Show me everything!" he commanded Sebastian.

The demon knelt to the ground once more, bowing his head. "Yes, My Lord."


End file.
